Lockdown! at the Disco #9: The Pride Special Episode

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Hello, come in and a very happy pride to you, babe!

TRACK 1: Gimmie Gimmie Back Your Love – Hunx & His Punx

That was Gimmie Gimmie Back Your Love by Hunx & His Punx and this is episode 9 of Comics Youth Radio presents Lockdown! at the Disco. I’m your proud as punch host Amy Roberts broadcasting live from the scorching hot streets of Fairfield and Kensington and I’m so excited to share today’s episode with you all!

BECAUSE! – my lovelies – this is our Pride special and it has been made in collaboration as ever by myself, the Comics Youth team, and our superbly talented young people from the Comics Youth Safe Spaces group. 

It’s Pride month, people! And it’s also the anniversary of the Stonewall Riots which offers the perfect reminder to us all that Pride shouldn’t just be a party, but also a protest. So, let’s extend some extra special solidarity and care and protection to the BAME LGBTQIA+ community because intersectionality is still and forever crucial.

This is the only time of year where it’s good to be a flag waver, honey! But don’t let the gammon hear me say that because the flags we’re holding celebrate the symbolic colours of the full LGBTQIA+ spectrum along with those extra black and brown stripes as we continue to fight racism and white supremacy – not just in the world at large, but also within the queer community.  

Today’s episode is all about sharing a celebration and education of LGBTQIA+ issues. We’ve got a playlist packed with jams specifically and only by LGBTQIA+ artists and a bunch of terrific content made by our young people here at Comics Youth.

To keep this protest party thumping we have Masseduction by St. Vincent:

TRACK 2: “Masseduction” – St. Vincent
TRACK 3: “girls” – girl in red

That was girls by girl in red as requested by Rosa and before that was Masseduction by St. Vincent which was requested by Lucy. This episode has been recorded on Sat June 27th and today we’re doing our Safe Spaces online takeover of the Comics Youth social media pages with a selection of really awesome content made by our young people in celebration of Pride.

The majority of stuff you’ll hear on the show today – aside from my coffee fuelled ramblings, naturally - is also stuff written by our young people as part of the takeover. We have a lot more in store than what’s just gonna be read out on this show so be sure to check out the Comics Youth Instagram and Twitter pages to see what other treats our young people have been hard at work making.

But first up, to kick us all off is a phenomenal piece by Lucy all about Compulsory Heterosexuality. What is that? You ask. Well, when Lucy brought this idea to our attention during our safe spaces meeting, quite a few of us didn’t know. But it’s a really crucial part of understanding LGBTQIA+ identity and some of the struggles that we might have as LGBTQIA+ people navigating our own sexual orientations and gender identity.

I’m going to be getting into that after a couple more songs. This is “I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone” by the ever-awesome queer punk icons Sleater Kinney.

TRACK 4: “I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone” – Sleater Kinney
TRACK 5: “The Galaxy is Gay” – The Butchies

Sleater Kinney there followed up by the raucous and the wonderful The Butchies with The Galaxy is Gay. And now, I’m getting back into TED Talk mode as I read out Lucy’s incredible piece about Compulsory Heterosexuality. So, please imagine me with a little microphone on my head, pacing around a stage while I read this:

Okay, so: A guide to compulsory heterosexuality

First up: What is compulsory heterosexuality?

Adrienne Rich defined compulsory heterosexuality as being “the covert socialisations and overt forces which have channelled women into marriage and heterosexual romance … convincing women that marriage, and sexual orientation toward men, are inevitable – even if they’re unsatisfying or oppressive forces in their lives.”

Next: Who experiences compulsory heterosexuality?

Whilst compulsory heterosexuality was a phrase originally coined by Adrienne Rich, a lesbian poet and essayist, to describe a tool of the patriarchy used to control and oppress women, our understanding of gender and sexuality have since developed.

So, with the origins respectfully in mind, it’s a term that LGBTQIA+ people across the gender spectrum use to describe their experiences of attraction to and/or relationships with the opposite sex due to societal conditioning before they fully understood, or felt comfortable in, their LGBTQIA+ identity.

But, where does compulsory heterosexuality come from?

From childhood, we all absorb information from our family, media consumption, and societal norms. For most LGBTQIA+ people, they grow up assuming that the only way to be is heterosexual simply because they have never received indication that things could be any other way. A few points on this:

1. Most families are made up of a cisgender man and woman and the heterosexuality of a child is assumed from birth e.g. most opposite sex friendships even between children are often joked about as romantic.

2. The idea of heterosexuality saturates all fairytales and mainstream TV, films, advertising, and music. On Valentine’s Day or in wedding pageantry, the language and images used are excessively heterosexual.

3. Until the 1960s in the UK, being gay was illegal & same-sex marriage was only legalised in 2014. The prevalence of offensive slurs and stereotypes in everyday life suggests to LGBTQIA+ people that who they are is abnormal. Gender roles such as the stay-at-home mum and hard-working dad reinforce the heteronormative ideas that we have about relationships.

Okay, so what does compulsory heterosexuality feel like?

Compulsory heterosexuality can feel like an inner conflict. Some examples of this feeling include:
- struggling to distinguish between what you are taught to want and what you actually want
- feeling like you have to force yourself to be attracted to the opposite sex or losing interest as soon as they reciprocate attraction
- preferring the idea of being with the opposite sex to the reality
- mistaking platonic love for the opposite sex as romantic (and romantic love for anyone else as platonic)
-  and finally, constantly trying to prove to yourself that you aren’t LGBTQIA+ identifying

There are many more common ‘symptoms’ of comp-het, but it’s good to remember that everyone’s journey with their identity is different. Whilst being LGBTQIA+ in a heteronormative world is frustrating and at times lonely, you can find peace in shared experiences and be reassured in the knowledge that change will (and is) coming.

Thank you so much Lucy. We’ve also got a great poem coming up by Lucy a little later, so please look forward to that too cos it’s an absolute knockout.

This is Grow Babe by Comics Youth fave Callum Crighton:

TRACK 6: “Grow Babe” – Callum Crighton
TRACK 7: “5 dollars” – Christine and the Queens

That was Callum Crighton with Grow Babe followed by 5 Dollars by Christine and the Queens as requested by Tasha.

So next up, we wanted to serve a little sermon about labels. And thankfully, Katie H has put together a really incredible resource about LGBTQIA+ labels which I’m gonna read for you all right now. And I hope it’s a help to anyone who is still trying to figure out just where exactly they feel comfortable with their identity. Just know, that labels don’t have to be for life. Try a few out. See what makes you feel the most like you.

This piece is called: To Label or not to label? By Katie H

First up, Why do gender and sexuality labels even matter?

- labels can help you classify your sexual orientation (i.e. who you’re physically or romantically attracted to) and your gender identity (which is whether a person is male or female or something else).
- These labels are there to help you feel safe within a community if you’re feeling confused about who you are. Yet, they are not at all necessary so you can choose whether to claim a label for yourself or not.

People might like to use these labels because they help provide closure and comfort to those who are confused
- they can help others to self-identify in a way that’s clear so that you can understand and learn about it
- and they can make communication between family and friends a lot easier

People might decide not to label themselves if a label can feel too constricting. Some LGBTQIA+ folk may feel pressured into choosing one or the other
- it’s also worth noting that sexuality and gender are both fluid meaning that it can always be changing over time
- some might feel like a label doesn’t properly fit who they are
- and some labels can sadly be used to discriminate and be hateful towards LGBTQIA+ people which can make labels triggering or uncomfortable to use in the long-run

So, what should you do if you’re confused?

- Basically, many people within the LGBTQIA+ community struggle to figure out who they really are and if labels are a way to help then that’s great!
- but at the same time if you don’t want to use labels then that’s cool too! You don’t have to use them
- whilst they may be helpful to some people, each of us should express ourselves freely, especially during Pride month when our identities can be openly celebrated

So let’s celebrate who we are!

-whether you use a label or not, there’s only one you! And your uniqueness is always worth celebrating!

AMEN TO THAT, KATIE! Lucas M from our safe spaces group has similarly made a great illustration which features a really beautiful piece of text on the subject of labels which says: It’s not always about knowing who you are. Sometimes it’s enough to know who you are not.

Please carry that message in your little heart, because it’s absolutely true and you are enough.

On top of that great piece, Katie has also been hard at work on a phenomenal four piece series which is up on our Youth Takeover blog on ComicsYouth.co.uk called Queering the Cobbles and it’s all about how LGBTQIA+ people are depicted and represented – and often misrepresented – on television. Katie focuses the conversation on depictions of LGBTQIA+ characters in Coronation Street and it makes for a really interesting read and provides a great overview of how far mainstream media has come in LGBTQIA+ representation, as well as how far mainstream media keep falling short too.

This is Cola by Alro Parks.

TRACK 8: “Cola” – Arlo Parks
TRACK 9: “Meg Ryan” – Ah-Mer-Ah-Su

Gah, I love that song so much. That was Meg Ryan by transgender superstar Ah-Mer-Ah-Su and it’s an absolute blinder. I’m gonna get back up on my soap box here again today to say that in this house Trans Lives Matter and Black Trans Lives Matter. All day every day.

Down with transphobes. Down with TERFs. Get in the bin, yer rats. Fix your hearts or die as Gordon Cole says in Twin Peaks: The Return.

Which brings us to our third piece – a wonderful article by James called Expression vs Identity: Why Trans People Can Be Gender Non-Conforming:

Gender non-conformity is more visible than ever in 2020. More and more celebrities and internet personalities are wearing clothes or makeup that don’t match the stereotypical expectations of their gender, and I personally love to see it... (2/17)

This kind of representation could be a great way to boost the confidence of gender non-conforming people, and to help spread the message that your gender does not dictate how you present yourself (3/17)

By now I think it’s been established that sex and gender aren’t the same thing, but some people aren’t aware that gender identity isn’t the same as gender expression either. Let me break it down: (4/ 17)

Sex is determined at birth based on an individual’s physical anatomy and biological attributes, for example the reproductive organs. Most people are assigned male or female, but biological sex is not limited to these two binaries (intersex people exist!) (5/17 )

Gender identity is a personal sense of your own gender. It may be the same as your assigned sex (cisgender) or it may not be (transgender). Gender also is not limited to the binary of male and female (non-binary people exist!) (6/17)

Sexuality and sexual orientation is who you are sexually attracted to. It is not the same as gender identity because trans people can be gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual or anything else in the same way that cis people can (7/17)

Gender expression is how you present yourself: clothes, hairstyles, makeup etc. It does not always align with your gender identity. People who don’t match typical gender norms are referred to as gender non-conforming (8/17)

Although there can be some overlap in all these terms, they are distinct from each other and not always related (9/17)

A lot of people disagree with gender non-conformity, because they believe that certain clothes should only be worn by people of a particular gender (i.e only women should wear dresses). In my opinion, no one receives more backlash than gender non-conforming trans people (10/17 )

Binary trans people are expected to present as either hypermasculine or hyperfeminine in order to be taken seriously. Non-binary people must live up to the ridiculous expectation of being perfectly androgynous all the time, otherwise their gender is seen as invalid (11/ 17)

I can’t speak for transfeminine people, but I know that if trans guys stray slightly from masculine norms, they are criticised or called “trenders.” Essentially these comments accuse them of faking their gender identity because it doesn’t align with their expression (12/17 )

Although gender non-conforming cis people do receive harsh critiques too, I’ve never heard a cis person be accused of faking their gender identity. Even if people don’t like it when a cis man wears feminine clothing or makeup, they’ll still recognise he is a man (13/17 )

What really bothers me are those who will congratulate cisgender men wearing dresses for “ending toxic masculinity,” but at the same time will ridicule trans men for doing traditionally feminine things (14/17 )

You can’t police how trans people present themselves while simultaneously applauding cis people for breaking the mould. This is nothing more than thinly veiled transphobia (15/17 )

I think that society’s aversion to gender non-conformity is a result of cisnormativity and heteronormativity. In other words, it’s ingrained in us all from a young age that being straight and cisgender is “normal,” and anything else is weird and undesirable (16/17)

Who wants to be normal anyway?

There are no rules. I could wear a skirt and nail varnish if I wanted to, it wouldn’t change the fact that I am a man. Dress however you feel comfortable – making a transphobe angry is just an added bonus (17/17))

Thanks so much as ever James! And to heck with being normal. What an absolute bore. You can read that and James’ other blogs on the expression of gender identity and the expectations that society outs upon us for such things over on the Youth Takeover blog.

From one trans superstar to another, these are two queered up covers of great songs starting with The Cliks with their take on Justin Timberlake’s Cry Me a River.

TRACK 10: “Cry Me a River” – The Cliks
TRACK 11: “Cellophane” – Pom Pom Squad

The Cliks covering “Cry Me a River” followed by Pom Pom Squad with their cover of FKA Twigs’ “Cellophane”. I love the original of both but I love these covers just as hard. I also realised this morning while working on a poem inspired by Cellophane, that it’s a little strange that FKA Twigs – who is from Cheltenham, by the way – uses the word cellophane instead of clingfilm?

But then, I guess saying ‘All wrapped in clingfilm, these feelings that we had’ doesn’t quite have the sing ring or sense of urgent romance to it, does it. It’s a bit too Pound Bakery for a heaving love ballad, innit?

 We’re gonna move on to a triple song intermission here featuring a couple of old school classics from some heroes of queer british music.

But the first track we’re gonna play is from an incredible musical and film by John Cameron Mitchell about navigating your sexual orientation and gender identity in a world that’s seemingly against you. And it’s also about why we shouldn’t let grotty little straight boys co-opt our stories – particularly not for profit.

This is “Wig in a Box” from Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

TRACK 12: Wig in a Box – Hedwig & The Angry Inch
TRACK 13: Bennie and the Jets – Elton John
TRACK 14: Outside – George Michael

That was Elton John with Benny and the Jets followed by Outside by George Michael. I’m really sorry that Tom requested different songs by both artists, but I hope these two songs were just as palatable for ya Tom!

As an aside, can we please recognise that the only good policemen might be the wonderfully queer ones in George Michael’s controversial video for Outside – but also! that video is strictly only for the eyes of mature listeners!! Over-18’s only, please!  

So, I chose ‘Outside’ by George Michael there because I think it’s the perfect example of a song that feels like a party but that is still firmly rooted in protest. The song was written after George Michael was arrested for engaging in a gay sexual act in a public space.

The incident prompted him to come out and this song not only gives him proud agency over what happened – and let’s be real, it’s unlikely the same furore would have been raised had he been engaging in a heterosexual act in public – but I think the lyrics also speak to the idea of coming out and being proud to make your sexuality public.

And that idea of making a song that feels both party and protest feels very apt for Pride. You know? Because, Pride has always been a protest and it always should be. And while it provides a great opportunity for us to celebrate our community and ourselves, it’s also a time for us to re-evaluate our position and treatment in this world and to continue to fight for better.

In Liverpool, and in many other cities across the UK, Pride can be kind of alienating because of how it’s structured around partying and binge drinking culture but also in how it’s been so co-opted by major corporations looking to use our identities as an opportunity to sell us stuff. And that can often make us feel unsafe and uncomfortable.

So just remember that Pride is whatever you want it to be. And that’s just as important this year – as we celebrate under lockdown – as it should be every year. You don’t have to drink or be part of a huge crowd or buy into Pride as a consumerist product in order to celebrate your identity and share pride with your community.

Find your people, find your spaces – online or IRL, heck maybe even on Animal Crossing! – and enjoy who you are and the people who love and understand you completely.

This is windhym by Dua Saleh

TRACK 15: windhym – Dua Saleh
TRACK 16: Lilo – The Japanese House

windhym by Dua Saleh there followed by Lilo by The Japanese House. As we finish up here today, I wanted to read a poem by Lucy called ‘A World in which I am Goldilocks and Sexuality a Bowl of Porridge’ because holy heck, is it good:

as a child i even looked like her….

a girly wave of golden locks swishing against the back of my sundress

zipped tight by society with his weathered….. white... fingers

i felt a little…. rebellious as i wandered… off the straight path

towards a flower bush dripping…. with nectar...

as i came closer, from the shrubbery a thatched home emerged,

front door unlocked

all welcoming.

i entered the cottage of curiosity, starving for clarity

i followed the scent of answers

to a kitchen with three bowls upon its table.

 
the first was brimming with discovery

moreish….. like best friends lips at a highschool party but

bisexuality burnt my tongue, i’d taken a spoon too soon…. eager,

no forethought to those remaining.

 
the second bowl had time to cool

i brought the oats to my mouth just as i realised

what about those…. in between girl and guy?

pansexual tasted good….. for a moment or two

then i swallowed, turned to the looking glass,

asked really…. who are you?

before the porridge, i’d felt so sure

now all this thinking had me floored.

i was born into this body….. then

those weathered fingers scribbled all over me in gender pen.

i tested the third bowl with hesitant fear,

found i’d never tasted anything... quite like queer

no choke in my throat,

no twinge of cringe,

no conflict of in which box i slot,

comfortable in what i know i’m not.

Thank you so much Lucy – how slammin is that poem? I can tell you with 100% accuracy that my poems were nowhere near as good as that when I Lucy’s age!

And that about wraps us up for today, people! As always, please remember that everything is not cool – but it can be. Stay safe, stay sassy, and my goodness stay full of pride for who you are and who you love. This is Janelle Monae feat. Erykah Badu with Q.U.E.E.N.

Byeeeee!!

TRACK 17: Q.U.E.E.N – Janelle Monae feat. Erykah Badu