Lockdown at the Disco #6: The Safe Spaces Episode
Please note: Due to some lockdown gremlins getting inside the radio show machine, a recording of this episode sadly doesn’t exist.
READ THE TRANSCRIPT OF THE EPISODE!
Yes, hi, hello! I am Amy Roberts and you are listening to Lockdown! at the Disco on Comics Youth Radio. This is episode 6 – I think – of the show and today’s episode is a Safe Spaces special which we’re presenting as part of our Safe Spaces online takeover.
If you follow us on social media then you hopefully saw all of the amazing content that we shared on our channels which was made by the young people who are part of our Safe Spaces group.
We had a whole bunch of truly spectacular content made by the talented youth of this group ranging from advice about mental health maintenance methods and writing about safe spaces to some incredibly powerful blog posts and artwork as part of the My Body is Not Your Business campaign that the group has been blazing content for since the start of lockdown.
If you want some wholesome, some uplift, and some absolute power right now then I strongly urge you to pop over to our Instagram, Twitter and Facebook pages so you can have a proper good gander at what they’ve been doing on there.
Suffice it to say, this episode will follow a similar path. We’re going to be playing songs that reflect the necessity for and the power of safe spaces but also songs that feel like a safe space in and of themselves.
And in the dialogue of all of this we hope to really drive home the idea that a safe space doesn’t just count as a physical location. A safe space can be anywhere or anything that gives you a sense of freedom to be yourself without challenge or which brings you a sense of calm, safety, protection and belonging. And we’d like to offer the reminder that our own minds and bodies should be safe spaces that are included in that conversation too.
More than anything else – a safe space is somewhere or something that feels like home. And you can find that in a person, a song, an activity, a community, a hobby, a café, a good book, or indeed – your own home. This is “In the Garage” by Weezer.
TRACK 1: “In the Garage” – Weezer
TRACK 2: “Kim & Jessie” – M83
That was “in the Garage” by Weezer followed by the gorgeous “Kim & Jessie” by M83 which comes from their very appropriately titled album Saturdays = Youth. And both of those songs express so perfectly the joys of just finding your place in the world – your people, your vibe - and a space where you can just be you.
And that’s something that everyone needs and that everyone deserves to find. As many of us have discovered, this has been especially true during the past couple of months of lockdown.
Now, a safe space is a very subjective thing and we all have our own version of it which attends to our own personal specific needs. And that’s what we’re going to be celebrating here today.
Unfortunately, though I wish I could be playing audio of our amazing young people reading out their own work today, I currently lack the resources and the software to do that properly at this moment. I’m still just a lone Chuckle Brother screaming “To Me” into an empty breeze.
But just know that we’re gonna be improving the production side of this show in the forthcoming weeks and so hopefully you’ll be hearing more from our young people – in their own voices and their own words - and not just this gravel-voiced fossil of a woman reading work out on their behalf.
With that in mind, let’s kick things off here with this amazing blog post from Lucas Mannion about the simple ways that he’s finding safety and serenity at the moment.
This piece is called “Fix It Up and Start Again: Finding Safety in Routine and Reset” and you can read it on our Youth Takeover blog on ComicsYouth.co.uk.
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When Sunday rolls around I only have 2 things on my to do list: Run 5k and Tidy & clean my room
I know not everyone is keen on running so I’m not going to preach for anyone to take it up, but looking after your safe space is an easy way to look after your mental health
Suffice it to say, I really look forward to Sundays at the minute & why? Because they're one of the only days where I have a set routine
Before lockdown I never tidied regularly so my room was always in a state. It was only during times when I was struggling that I decided to clear up, because I knew it helped calm me down or improve my mood
“Tidy room, tidy mind” and all that, but I also think that it made me feel productive when I found it difficult to do anything else. When lockdown started, I picked a day when I would tidy up: A way to maintain some normal when everything else seemed to be up in the air
At first all I did was change my bed sheets and pick everything up off my floor. But now I also hoover the carpet, and clean my windows, mirrors and my sink and I do this without fail, every single week
It’s such a good way to relieve stress for me; going to sleep in clean pyjamas and fresh sheets, with everything in its proper place instead of scattered across the carpet. It’s like pressing reset on my week
Things may be strange and messy right now, but I know I can tidy it up and start again on Sundays.
I wish I had the motivation to clean more at the moment, but I very much agree that having a set time each week to catch up on these little things – what I always call life admin – really does improve your wellbeing. And honestly, three cheers for fresh bedsheets.
Lucas has made a whole bunch of content for us and you can check out a really stunning video that he’s made about the importance of safe spaces and the safe spaces group in general over on our social media channels.
And now we’re gonna play a couple of tracks for him. First we have Cavetown with a song about two birds building a nest and how they turn that into a home. This is the very wholesome “Things That Make it Warm”
TRACK 3: “Things That Make it Warm” – Cavetown
TRACK 4: “The Handwritten Letter” – AS IT IS
AS IT IS there with “The Handwritten Letter” and we’re playing that for Lucas Mannion who says of his request, “AS IT IS are my favourite band and hearing the song takes me back to the last concert of theirs I went to with one of my best friends, where everyone was yelling the chorus and jumping around. It was just so good. Those concerts are one of my favourite places to be and I miss them”
Oh, how I vibe with that right now. Live music is also very much one of my favourite places to be too and somewhere that I’ve always found safety and calm and belonging in. You know, just being hit by a thick wall of noise. Nothing beats it.
The last gig I went to was a Japanese noise band called Boris – a very unfortunate name especially given that the show took place not long after the awful election results which I won’t go on about now because heck, we’re in the scorched Tory dystopia now people! - and I just remember from that gig being stood at the front of the stage and their sound just whipping around me and feeling so thick and heavy that it was almost as if it were embracing me and it was just absolute bliss.
While we process how sad we may feel right now about losing out on those spaces, let’s all just continue to take comfort in the little things that we do have now. We’re all incredibly resilient – and we’re all so much stronger than I think any of us ever realises - and we just have to take as much good from this world as we can right now.
And that’s very much what we do in Safe Spaces. We take the good. We take all of the good. And we share it around.
And though we might not have the cathartic, communal experience of a live show anymore – we’ll always have music. It’s still ours. And we can still experience those good vibes between the notes of a perfect song.
This whole process during lockdown has been a real challenge for all of us in terms of finding ways to adapt and finding healthy ways to confront very sudden change and ways to just roll with those challenges and those feelings.
So I wanted to play a couple of tracks now about searching for safety and calm and about accepting that change isn’t always a negative – but rather that it’s an inevitable part of life and one that sometimes brings about some unexpected positives.
Even if those positives are just a change in perspective or the power of acceptance. These are still things that can help us to take our next steps in figuring out ourselves and the world so we can make the plans necessary to create tangible change that works for us.
This is Sound & Color by Alabama Shakes
TRACK 5: “Sound & Color” – Alabama Shakes
TRACK 6: “Soon Soon” – Tom Rosenthal
That was “Soon Soon” by Tom Rosenthal and it was requested by Haribo who says of the song, “It’s about change being fine, which is something I struggle with. But whatever happens is fine.”
Which is more often than not very much the case, so thank you very much for that Haribo. There is certainly great power to be found in embracing change rather than fighting against it. But there’s also great joy to be found in the familiar and in maintaining a sense of the familiar as a form of comfort.
On that note I want to read a really wonderful poem about the rambling comforts of a cat around the house as a form of a safe space. Written by our ridiculously talented writer Lucy Butler, this is “Tilly’s Poem”:
“When I’m tired of the daily frustrations and drama,
I’ll find you and re-charge in my attic nirvana,
You’ll curl up on my bed in a furry cocoon,
I’ll put on some music and dance ‘round the room.
Sometimes you’ll watch, but most times you’ll sleep,
So I’ll get in beside you, switch on my TV,
we’ll waste one more night on a cliché romcom,
and forget all about the world that we hide from.”
Thank you so much Lucy.
Lucy has contributed a whole bunch of amazing content – including a really cool video about how to make a safe space – for our online takeover which you can check out on our social media.
And she’s also written a couple of really outstanding blog posts that you can read on our Youth Takeover blog on ComicsYouth.co.uk regarding body image, mental health, and how gross entitled people often ask too many questions about other people’s bodies.
Those blog posts are a proud part of our My Body is Not Your Business campaign which challenges the obscene, outdated and impossible standards that society and mainstream culture pushes upon people – but particularly upon women and non-binary and LGBTQIA+ people.
I’m going to read an excerpt from a supremely powerful essay written by another of our young people on that topic in just a moment. But first, this is “Sisters” by Natalie Prass which Lucy has requested as she says it’s “just a good girl power tune” – so pass me a spoon cos I am gonna scoop up every last bite of it…
TRACK 7: “Sisters” – Natalie Prass
TRACK 8: “Ending Start” – Metric
That was “Sisters” by Natalie Prass followed by “Ending Start” by Metric. And “Ending Start” might not be a song of comfort but it’s definitely a song about fighting to maintain a safe space.
In particular, that’s a song about surveillance and the ways that our data is used online by corporations and the ways in which we’re monitored on social media and sold to on such platforms via some really ugly targeted marketing which sometimes feels so specific that it’s read your mind or overheard some very private conversations.
But don’t worry, I’m not getting all tin-hat brigade on yers. I just wanted to reaffirm that while we’re talking about safe spaces, it’s important to take into account that we should all be staying safe online too.
And in our Safe Spaces group we often chat about the internet and how our data is used to sell absolutely awful lifestyles to us which are insulting on one level and completely toxic on another. Be it diet pills and supplements, or an Instagram algorithm which starts to only show you one particular body size, shape or pigmentation.
We all need to approach our online behaviours and activity very carefully for this reason. So be sure to take care, protect yourselves, remember that the block button is your friend, and that the more you report inappropriate content and advertising, the better your feeds and our feeds will be for it.
And on that vibe I wanna flex a real power bicep of a piece by Eleanor Thorndyke. This is a basically a remix extract of a much longer essay written by Eleanor for the My Body is Not Your Business campaign and it’s called “There is No Such Thing as a Bad Body.”
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Throughout the crucial development years of my adolescent life and to this day, I’ve had negative thoughts and feelings around my body - this beautiful creation that allows me to be alive and to experience life.
I’m aware of how marketing works...
I know the body type being sold to me as an aspiration and why. But growing up in the prime of technology and advertising hasn’t been great when dealing with these thoughts and feelings about my body not being enough for me.
But, beauty is whoever you are: Whether your body is slim, curvy or anything at all, it’s beautiful. It’s so hard to accept that it’s still an issue for mass consumption when everyday we see ‘Instagram models’ face-tuning themselves tiny with unrealistic proportions.
Worryingly, many young people don’t understand the concept of Photoshop and think these images are real. And these pictures are so finely picked out: So much goes into them including posing, lighting and editing.
But even though we understand these pictures are Photoshopped, it’s hard to not feel hung up or down about yourself in comparison. Whether you’re dealing with body image or not - it’s challenging to see what are deemed gorgeous figures online which you may long to look more like.
It’s so tiring being constantly bombarded with different forms of media & people telling you how you should look. So much so that when I stopped my disordered behaviours no-one warned me about the new relationship I’d have with what I deemed my “new body” as it changed.
It feels like once you overcome this huge hurdle and relax, the media hits you like a train: It tells you your body isn’t worthy enough, that it is too fat or too thin now that you’re back to a healthy mentality.
Everybody is 100% unique, we all have different traits, body types and features that set us aside from everybody else. But with this, society has constantly enforced a set of impossible standards that we feel forced to follow and to strive to achieve.
I feel so much wiser having these experiences and overcoming a mentality that I thought was normal. It’s made me more aware to the media’s advertising techniques as well as to how I see fashion and what corporations do to make a product sell.
But I genuinely think that the newer generations will abolish this traditional behaviour for good. We’re constantly evolving and learning from one another. In a world full of hatred we’re spreading love and acceptance to all.
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Thank you Eleanor. And seriously, bring on the change! It’s well overdue and we all deserve to see it in our lifetimes.
A couple of tracks now for Bell – who is a really ridiculously talented illustrator with us and such a bright light in so many of our groups.
First up is “A Secret Message to You” by Devics which Bell says she wants to hear because it brings her comfort. She says “I like to imagine I’m somewhere peaceful with loved ones when I listen to it.”
I recommend we all do the same…
TRACK 9: “A Secret Message to You” – Devics
TRACK 10: “This Must Be the Place” – Talking Heads
Oh gosh, that song does a proper bum wiggle of a boogie all over my little heart. That was “This Must Be the Place” by Talking Heads and I’m playing that for Bell who shares that song with lots of love to her girlfriend.
Now to another piece written for our My Body is Not Your Business campaign. This is a blog post titled “Not All Trans Guys Look the Same - and That's Okay” and it’s written by James.
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Body expectations can be a difficult topic for trans people. For many of us, it’s a battle to feel comfortable in our own bodies, which isn’t helped by constantly being compared to cis bodies. As a trans man it’s been helpful for me to find other guys online that I could relate to, but over the years I’ve noticed that there are still certain expectations put on trans bodies by our own community.
Most of the trans men that I see online are:
· White
· Post-surgery and on hormones
· Slim and young looking, or extremely muscular
Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with this, however it’s not an accurate representation of the transmasculine community. When I was younger, seeing all of these men gave me hope that I could transition to look the way I wanted to, but it also made it seem like this is what everyone’s transition looked like; this is the “ideal body” that we all strive for. While I may be able to relate to these guys, not everyone will be able to.
Where are the fat trans men? The trans men of colour? The disabled trans men?
No two people’s bodies are the same, just as no two people’s transitions are the same. Some people choose not to go on hormones or have surgery, and some people are unable to for medical or financial reasons (or they have to deal with extremely long waiting lists).
While some people enjoy working out and getting really toned or muscular, others don’t. One lifestyle or body type is not better than any other, and transitioning medically or looking masculine doesn’t make you “more trans” than someone else.
Part of me wonders whether the reason we always see trans men who fit this description is because they are easier for cis people to accept. Seeing guys who fit the traditional stereotype of an attractive man makes it harder to deny their gender identities, because they look “authentic.”
On the other hand, if they see someone who doesn’t fit this ideal, they are more likely to criticise their transition because “it’s not believable” and “what’s the point in saying you’re this when we can tell you’re really that?”
As disheartening as it is to read and hear these comments, we need to remember that we don’t need the cisgender stamp of approval. There is no right or wrong way to be a man. Our value is not determined by how “cis-passing” we are, or how attractive other people find us. Trans bodies and cis bodies are both incredibly diverse, so there is no such thing as “looking trans”. Even if there was, why would it be a bad thing?
The bottom line is, however you identify, do what makes you feel comfortable in your skin. You shouldn’t transition to look like someone else – you should transition to look like yourself.
As ever, thank you so much for this piece James. And as always, you can read that piece on our Youth Takeover blog on ComicsYouth.co.uk – it also features some really wonderful illustrations by Paul
And now? This is “Teenage Dream” by T.Rex
TRACK 11: “Teenage Dream” – T. Rex
TRACK 12: “Wolf Like Me” – TV on the Radio
That was “Teenage Dream” by T. Rex and it was requested by Ste – our art director here at Comics Youth who has been reflecting on his own digital communities and safe spaces growing up and he unearthed some polaroids the other day of him with some pals that he met on a Scott Pilgrim online forum many many moons ago.
And they’re all still mates today! They met online. They built up a community. And they’re still pals all these hundreds of years later - Sorry ste hahaa. So it seems very apt that we play a track from the Scott Pilgrim soundtrack there.
And following that was “Wolf Like Me” by TV on the Radio. And I know that the actual connotations of that song are meant to be a bit sexy – but the way I’ve always read that song is more as an anthem of otherness. And of feeling Other and of feeling like an Outsider and a freak and then finding someone or more than one person who gets you and understands you and lets you transform into whatever person you need to become during that big ol’ full moon. You know what I’m saying?
Lycanthropy people! It’s where it’s at!
Alright, now let’s bring some sunshine and real comfort into these safe spaces. These are two tracks requested by our absolutely outrageously talented artist Raf.
And I wanted to give a huge shoutout to him because he’s just finished typing up his transcript for an interview he did with Davina Di Campo from UK Drag Race for our newspaper. And let me tell ya, writing up a transcript is not easy. Or fun. So it’s a huge achievement – especially because they did it on top of their college work and while creating so much amazing art work at the same time too.
I think all of us at Comics Youth are just constantly in awe of our young people and how hard they work and how much they do and how great they support each other. But before I go off on a big soppy one again, this is “It’s Alright” by Mother Mother which Raf has requested because it always puts him in a better mood.
And the lyrics on this one seem very well suited to this episode.
TRACK 13: “It’s Alright” – Mother Mother
TRACK 14: “Golden” – Harry Styles
That was Golden by Harry Styles and it was requested by Raf who says that it just has some real safe feels. It sure does. And I also just wanted to play that for our marketing maven Emily who did an amazing job leading the Safe Spaces social media takeover yesterday and who is the proud owner of a cardboard cutout of Harry Styles which lives in their bedroom.
Nothing wrong with it, girl!
And so we move swiftly along to a poem written about finding a safe space outdoors and it was written by Rosa – and I apologise greatly to Rosa who is a supreme spoken word artist and I just don’t think I’m going to be able to do it justice in the same way as she does. But here we go anyways.
I’m an anxious person,
Always moving and feeling and hurting,
I’m always worried about something,
My mind is always humming.
But sometimes I find quiet
And though it is rarely
And though it is fleeting,
It is in the sound of the stream below my feet,
The creak of the branches,
The knowledge that I am near the place that you call home
That makes me feel that the quiet is so overwhelmingly kind.
And in its kindness,
The quiet makes me feel safe.
How beautiful is that? I’ve been doing a lot of walks through Newsham Park at the moment and I very much vibe with this poem right now. You can actually watch a terrific video of Rosa doing a phenomenal outdoor performance of this poem in a video filmed by her equally talented girlfriend Tasha – that’s up on our social media right now.
And while we’re all navigating our cosy and our kindness – here’s a song about choosing paths and finding home. This is “Endless Road” by Angel Olsen.
TRACK 15: “Endless Road” – Angel Olsen
TRACK 16: “Home” – Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros
That was “Home” by Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros and it was requested by Rosa as it’s her and her girlfriend Tasha’s song and she says of it: “It’s really important to me. I remember walking about boogeing to it together. Every time I’m upset Tasha plays it to remind me that she loves me”
And that has just completely choked me up, so thank you for that Rosa. And now I’m going to finish today’s episode with one final poem from Rosa which we’re going to be including as part of our Stay Safe Club zine – which will be going into our Stay Safe Club packs. And it’s about giving advice to your younger self.
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Ask me what I would say to my younger self
And I will freeze.
I have to think long and hard about which part of my life needs my advice today.
I have never been confident,
Never comfortable in my skin,
Never quite sure of where I was supposed to be.
Certainly never quite sure of who I was supposed to be.
To the little girl with short curly hair,
4 years old,
I would say that
I hope she never grows out of her princess dress,
Or at least never grows out of the idea of being a princess who deserves love.
I would tell her I’m sorry for the years where I hated pink, and that we finally got the bubblegum hair we deserved
And after she has grown up to be an 8 year old, I would tell her
that she deserves the praise
And to never shrug it away, never ever play dumb again.
I would say that she is smarter than she will ever recognise,
At least for now.
And when my younger self turns 13,
I’d tell her she is okay.
That she deserves to be happy,
I would give her a hug because she was hurting so badly.
I would tell her that Green Day CAN solve all of her problems,
And that the anger won’t pass
But we’ll find a way to say everything we needed to say.
I mean, what more of a perfect ending could there possibly be for this episode than a poem that reassures and recognises and restores and rectifies. These are things we all look for in a safe space and this is the end of our Safe Spaces episode.
Next week, we’re going to be getting very political and we’re gonna be setting the world to right. I’m sure all of you listening to this right now are as frustrated and upset and overwhelmed by the news at the moment. In America and in Britain. So next week I’ll be working with our safe spaces group again to develop an episode about protest and activism.
And I said this in our Safe Spaces Discord channel this morning, but I just to want to repeat it: I know the news is super dark and overwhelming right now and we all feel like we aren't doing enough in fighting back against those dark corners of the world. But , trust me whatever actions you're taking, no matter how small, is a contribution: YOU ARE ENOUGH.
In the meantime we're all going to continue to support one another and to be loud about the things we're mad about and to create art and campaigns in support of change.
Nothing is hopeless and none of us are helpless. We can fight back and we have the tools to do so in a way that maintains our own sense of wellbeing and safety in the process.
So, stay safe and stay sassy and my goodness keep the fight in your heart but leave enough space for a little light to get in too. Okay? We might be isolated but we’re not alone. See you on the Discord, champs…
TRACK 17: “Together in Electric Dreams” - Phil Oakey & Giorgio Moroder