In Conversation with Comfortably Queer
Hello and welcome to the Comics Youth x Where are the Girlbands Safe Spaces podcast, a space for discussions with organisations and individuals who are creating safe spaces within the North West, with a focus on Merseyside. Today we are going to be chatting about a safe spaces project of our very own, the Comics Youth Safe Spaces Reclaiming Community Spaces project. We will be interviewing Alice and Raf, the two young people behind the Comfortably Queer event which provided a safe, chilled space for LGBTQ* people to craft, eat cake and socialise in a low-pressure environment.
You can also listen to this episode on Spotify!
If you would like to share your thoughts on this episode with us, or want to get involved in a future one, email ella@comicsyouth.co.uk
Episode Transcription:
Hello and welcome to the Comics Youth x Where are the Girlbands Safe Spaces podcast, a space for discussions with organisations and individuals who are creating safe spaces within the North West, with a focus on Merseyside.
Today we are going to be chatting about a safe spaces project of our very own, the Comics Youth Safe Spaces Reclaiming Community Spaces project! This was a project in which young people were invited to reclaim local spaces by putting on their own safe space events. The project ran from May 2021 and is finishing up at the start of 2022, meaning that months of workshops, weekly sessions, planning and care have gone into the exciting creative safe spaces that our young people created.
This project was funded by the I Will Fund, an England wide joint investment that brings together £40 million in funding from the Department for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport and The National Lottery Community Fund, creating a central investment pot. The National Lottery Community Fund believes that when young people are leading social action, communities thrive.
Their funding helps to create high quality opportunities that connect young people authentically to causes they can address, focussing on reaching young people from less socio-economically affluent communities. They prioritise sustainable solutions that can be scaled cost effectively by embedding social action opportunities where young people are and connecting young people to solve key challenges across society
You will hear from the episode today about how their funding has helped us to make change in our community, and has given our young people the financial means to create safe spaces, learn new skills to take with them into the world to continue to work on the causes they care about, and have their voice be heard.
We began the Safe Spaces Reclaiming Community Spaces project by thinking of what safe spaces are, how they can be created generally, doing some learning about important topics such as accessibility, intersectionality and setting boundaries. Our young people then pitched safe space events that they wanted to put on, allowing us to set up our three project groups!
The three projects were: Comfortably Queer – a an evening of crafts, cakes, & cosy LGBTQ+ community time, ‘The Open Open Mic: We Hear You Loud and Queer’ was an all-day safe space event platforming Queer artist across disciplines and ‘Colourful Stories: A Queer Retelling of Liverpool's History’ is an exhibition using artwork, research and writing by LGBTQIA+ creatives to address the erasure of Queer history within the city, whilst celebrating the unique and wide range of experiences that come with being a Queer individual in Liverpool. We will be exploring in more detail each of these events in upcoming podcast episodes, so keep your eyes peeled for those
Today we will be chatting about Comfortably Queer, the first of our Safe Space events in which two of our fantastic young people, Alice and Raf, spent each and every Thursday dedicated to planning and creating a safe, cosy space for Queer people in the heart of the city centre. From neurodiversity training, to workshops around budgeting to exciting brainstorming sessions, our young people spend months ensuring that this event was the safest it could be, creating an event like no other in Lovelocks Coffee shop.
‘Comfortably Queer’ was an evening of crafts, cakes, & cosy LGBTQ+ community time. The event took place on ‘National Pronoun Day’. Offering space and materials to make DIY pronoun badges, with a focus on meeting the needs of neurodiverse Queer people. The event created a much-needed LGBTQ+ safe space within the City Centre during a time of increased hate crime in Liverpool, allowing people to meet and socialise with their community outside of nightlife.
I had the pleasure of reflecting on this fantastic event with our two young people, Alice and Raf, about how it all happened, as well as their reflections on what can be done to make Liverpool a safer space for the Queer Community.
Interview with Alice and Raf:
Ella:
So I have with me today the fantastic Alice and Raf who worked with us on the Safe Spaces Reclaiming Community Spaces project on their event Comfortably Queer. Would either of you like to get us started by telling us about your event and the project in general?
Alice:
Comfortably Queer was a space made specifically for Queer people who wanted to be in a space that didn’t have alcohol and was just very wholesome and lowkey to just sort of encourage like a socialising environment that was just wholesome. And I think we achieved that. Definitely, definitely think so.
It was specifically made for or catered towards Queer people who are neurodiverse in some way, so neurotypical being someone who is allistic, and so we were catering to people who maybe have ADHD or Autism or anything that fits under that umbrella.
Ella:
Yeah and you did an amazing job with that, it was a super cosy, lovely event, and there were months of planning behind the scenes actually which included training around how to be sort of not only an accepting space but a supportive one with the tools to meet people’s needs which was great, and a lot of work went into like your safety policy and stuff as well which is fantastic. Would you like to maybe talk a bit about that, about how you developed your sort of safe spaces policy and what you felt was necessary to have placed at your event to make it a safe space?
Alice:
We basically kind of just thought what do we want, like, what would be an environment that would be really easy to just be in? And be a part of with new people, and what would we want to do in that environment. So that’s what got us to think about let’s make crafts! Let’s eat cake and drink tea! And be gay! (laughter) woo!! (more laughter) and it was like I would definitely want to do that. Because, like most pride events for example are like huge festivals, where there is so much happening and it’s so good and there’s definitely a place for that, but there’s never anything that’s catered towards people who may not want to party and be a part of a massive festival or rave basically.
Ella:
Yeah, definitely, and what was great is that you put so much care into the details of the event. So I know little things like textures for example were really considered with the materials that you bought, things like making sure that people knew what they’d be doing ahead of the event with your social posts and just removing as much sort of possibility for distress or discomfort as possible, and I think you did a really great job with that. Would you like to talk maybe a bit about the event itself and how you found it?
Raf:
It went so so well. We had been planning for months and months and everything just worked out perfectly. The music - amazing, everybody who came - amazing, oh my gosh. And the venue was just lovely, and the cake and the coffees oooooo, (laughter) so yeah we had so much fun being able to just meet new people and everyone just socialise and just be ourselves. It was great! I’m really speechless.
Alice:
Yeah it was lovely, I think because we had a table full of crafts like you mentioned, with different textures, and they were all like Halloween kind of vibes as well because it was, I think, it was the week of Halloween our event, which is also, you know, also a very Gay holiday, love it. And we were like oh let’s make pronoun badges with all these different materials and it was accidentally on international pronoun day! Which the months of planning, that is just a beautiful thing that we didn’t plan that happened. So everyone just really enjoyed like really taking care into like what materials they were going to use and like like sat down and had something to do with their hands while meeting new people and that’s one of the biggest things that made it more accessible for neurodivergent people is that you had something to do to not distract yourself but fulfil that need to be doing something other than making eye contact with a new person you don’t know or making conversation. And it also made it to where if there were silences at the table it wasn’t because there was an awkward social pause it was because you were stuffing your mouth with cake or really concentrating where you were putting that pumpkin button on your pronoun badge, and it was just really wholesome, a very very lovely space. And as Raf mentioned, we spent a lot of time researching venues and Lovelocks Coffee Shop was definitely the best venue in Liverpool we could have picked for it.
Ella:
Yeah it was so lovely on the day, especially seeing the variety of badges that people made. Every single badge was so different to each other because of how many materials you had bought. Like the materials, the type of badge people had made, even what people had written on the badge, and what was a really nice sort of accidental thing that happened from that I think is you opened conversation around pronouns and the importance of them. So I was sat with Gen, who’s another person who works at Comics Youth and we were doing the glue gun at the event, which is a very important job, it was a very serious job. I say that I was mainly just eating cake the whole time and people would come over and try to speak to me and I had a whole cake in my mouth so that was fantastic, but erm, as we were doing the badges there was so much conversation around safe spaces around pronouns, about why people were making the badges, you know some people were making them to wear in work, some people were making them for like other friends of theirs or people in like groups that they work in. And it was just lovely because you created such a safe space that these conversations around acceptance and identity were just sort of naturally happening anyway, and it didn’t feel pressured it was like in a really natural way. So that was really great, and I think maybe from that we can talk a bit about your intention with the event and why making Safe Spaces in Liverpool is so important. Maybe Raf you can lead on this one?
Raf:
Liverpool is a university city and so many students are coming based on like the parties, just like the big party life that you can get, and that’s what a lot of my friends have done and are now realising that when they just want to chill out and study somewhere quiet there aren’t that many spaces which are nice and quiet, especially for Queer people, there are not many safe spaces, like safe Queer spaces that are so very easily accessible and don’t have alcohol in them, like a nice little café, and I think there needs to be more of those just so that people can meet up and get to know each other without alcohol and without having to have liquid courage and all that.
Alice:
Yeah, and like accessible, like Lovelocks for example is all on the ground floor, it’s all ground level and there’s steps to get in but there’s also a ramp to get in and, what am I trying to say…the toilets, there are disabled toilets! Is that, that’s what I’m trying to say oh my gosh.
Ella:
Yeah that’s right.
Raf:
And they’re gender neutral.
Alice:
And I know that the staff as well specifically make sure that the chairs at all the tables are far enough apart to where a wheelchair could always get to the disabled toilets, because I think in a lot of places they think once the disabled toilet is there magically it’s easy to get there and they don’t think about if it’s easy to get there, but I know that they do at Lovelocks cause yeah! You can see it!
Ella:
Lovelocks was in general a really great venue and a really natural choice for like as well from their open position as a safe space, you know they openly pronounce themselves as a safe space for LGBT or Queer people in Liverpool. And I know the context with which you were beginning to think about venue choices was at a time of increased hate crime in Liverpool. Would either of you like to talk a bit about that and sort of the context your event was born out of?
Alice:
Yeah, what was it, late June I believe. So we started planning this event in late May and we were like yeah it would be really nice to have a calm environment for Queer people. And then June came around and there were a lot of homophobic attacks on Queer people obviously in the Liverpool City Centre around Lime Street Station around Gay Town, and, it was very concerning and distressing and it definitely made the city aware that there need to be spaces that Queer people can go in the daytime and also in the night time to like just seek refuge, which is one way to feel safer in a City. Obviously there are lots of other ways that we can increase the feeling of safety in the city, which we can talk about, but that’s what made us go okay this is, this is definitely an important space to create.
Ella:
Yeah and you definitely did that and I think even like I was saying before the fact people felt comfortable sharing their experiences as well within your event I know erm I had a few conversations with people erm that started off just talking about like you said like “ar I love that pumpkin button that you’ve put on your badge” and it somehow ended up that we were talking about their workplace maybe, and the things in their workplace that feel unsafe to them, maybe people not respecting their pronouns, you know things to do with school, and it just opened up all of these important conversations around what needs to happen to make Liverpool a safe space for the Queer community. Maybe Alice do you want to talk a bit more about that, I know you were leaning into there about how you know having these safe spaces is really important, but what can we do more generally in Liverpool to make it feel a safer space for Queer people.
Alice:
Well this, this one can go down a rabbit hole quite easily (Laughter.) I think it always boils down to awareness, empathy, but also more importantly education from a younger age, especially in the areas of the city that are deprived of resources, so, you know, for example, I used to live in more of the suburbs of Liverpool, near Anfield with my partner and we experienced a lot of homophobia from kids, and that’s where it starts. Those kids grow up to be potentially the people that are comfortable enough to physically harm or verbally abuse or both, so if we can, I don’t know, do more things in an education setting, in the long-term that’s where society will get better and safer for Queer people because as much as you can teach Queer people, every single person self-defence, that’s just like putting a plaster over the wound in the long-term.
Raf:
I feel like Alice has said so much.
Alice:
I’m sorry! (Laughing)
Raf:
Like all of it is just so true, like education wise, we definitely need to teach children, and like the more deprived members of our community. There are different people and everybody should be treated equally no matter who they are, what they look like, what they do, who they love, everybody should be treated equally, and I know right now, at least when I was younger, we were never really taught that, even in the 2000s, it was bad. (Laughing) But now, more activists are coming up and sharing more information, younger people are online and are able to look at all these amazing stuff going on and be like oh I never knew that I’ve now learned something new and that’s all down to social media and good influencers who are sharing the greatest information of all.
Ella:
Definitely, amazing! And I think you contributed to that too with the stuff you were sharing about your event by setting a precedent around having you know so much available information about what your event is, why you were putting it on, I know you had a post around why you’d chosen Lovelocks for example, why you felt the space was necessary. You also shared your policies, and the fact that you’d received training and the things that were going on to making it a safe space, and that’s so important even just for other venues and other people putting on events to see. You know, maybe they don’t have any idea about how they can facilitate a safe space and they can learn from you and what you’ve done and your policies. And I guess maybe on that tangent is there something in this, or maybe a learning experience that you’d like to share with the listeners today about how they can personally facilitate safe spaces?
Alice:
I’ve learned that if you put care and sensitivity and behind the planning, and just really be aware of like okay if I had no idea of what was going to happen, like what would this event be like, then safe spaces will happen in that way? With also the proper research behind it. And I think the key is knowing what to research and what to think about, and that’s where our months of planning went into, just thinking about what would it be like if I, you know, have a different perception of sensory to Allistic people for example, because I am allistic, so what would it be like if I had a different interpretation of touch, feel, sound, those sort of things, and I’m definitely going to take that into practice with my Theatre company where I put on events like social, creative network events, and upcoming shows, all those kind of things, it’s very very useful.
Ella:
I think you can never know like what you don’t know until you hear it from someone who has that perspective, and even from within the planning it’s great to have multiple voices and multiple experiences so that everyone can share you know their needs, like you said, at the start you were thinking you know what makes a safe space for me, what makes me feel safe, what makes me feel comfortable, and you developed it from there, you kept learning and like getting more people’s you know perceptions of a safe space by things like training and research. You know I completely agree, you can’t expect yourself to know everything, you only have your experiences and your brain and your perception, so reaching out to other people and listening to your community and their needs is probably the best way to get started with making a safe space.
Alice:
Yeah! Definitely! It’s easy, just be a nice person. (Laughing)
Ella:
Yeah. How about you Raf, was there any like particular learning moments for you?
Raf:
During all the planning we did a lot of in-depth research into different ways we could accommodate to different people. So, physical disabilities and neurodiverse people. During our research we got a lot of like outside opinions from like friends, peers, so that we could like really put on an event for them and accommodate them, and if anyone had anything like “Oh what if we could do this instead” we’d be like “Oh, that’s a good idea! We could do stuff around that in that way.”
Ella:
Yeah! Definitely. And I think that is so important, like Alice was saying, empathy and compassion is the most important thing and you definitely led with that. You kept it very open for like changing and developing your ideas, that’s why there were so many months was that, you know, you wanted it to fit the needs of your audience rather than just maybe being your original idea. You were really open to developing it to new learning and the things that you found out in training and in your research, and that went up to right up to the event where you were constantly adjusting your event to the needs of your audience, and that was fantastic to see. And was just lovely on your behalf that you both took so much time really making sure that this space was as safe and as wonderful as possible for everyone involved. So yeah! A big well done to both of you for that by the way! You did a great job! I can say as someone who was there that it was very very lovely, I felt very safe and very comfortable, and I know all the conversations I had with people there were along the same lines that it was a really lovely safe space, and also that you introduced some people to Lovelocks as well as a safe space where they could go. You know people were meeting each other for the first time, and people were able to have conversations that maybe they wouldn’t have been able to have usually, and especially in a space with strangers as well, to feel so comfortable to share and to, you know, make and to have conversations with people that maybe you’ve not met before is a really challenging thing and you really let people have a space where they felt that they could do that. So that’s wonderful and a real achievement on both of your behalf’s. Maybe if we end on a positive note, maybe we share something that has been like rewarding to you about this project. Something which fills you with joy when you think about it, it could be an anecdote or just part of the project or anything that brings you happiness.
Alice:
When I look back on it, one of my favourite things is when we were all sat working, drinking tea, eating cake and like we didn’t realise that we’d kind of gone past when we said the event would end, cause we were all like so engrossed in our happy little world and very very content to be there. (Laughing) That I had to go oh! Yeah I’m in charge of this! Oh I have to tell these lovely people to go away (laughing) but how nice that that’s how it had to end, because everyone was just having such a good time. That was a huge highlight for me.
Raf:
For me it was finding a safe space, so I’d never actually been to Lovelocks apart from when we were like scoping out places to host the event. As soon as I saw Lovelocks I was like this is the best place, I’m now like, I go there solely for cake half the time (laughing) just like I’ll walk past and I’m like oooo cake! And I just have a lovely little chat. I think that’s the best part, but also just like when it was the day of the event, just like getting to like see so many people, some familiar faces and like quite a few new faces, or putting names to faces that who I’d only spoken to like online. It was just great.
Ella:
Yeah, it was absolutely gorgeous. And I think for me as well, seeing all of your months of hard work, you know, it was exactly the vibe that you had put across in your original intentions you know, lofi, gay, fun, wholesome, cakes, crafts. I was looking around the room thinking they’ve only gone and done it! They’ve only gone and done it! It’s perfect!
Alice:
I want the people to know, before we came up with the name Comfortably Queer (laughing) I was like we should call it lo-fi but for gay people (laughing)
Ella:
And that was exactly the vibe! That was fully the vibe of the day it was great. I felt like I was in you know the YouTube video that’s like lo-fi anime beats to study and relax to. That was me, but surrounded by a very wholesome community of other Queer people. But yeah it was gorgeous, it was amazing and I’m very proud of both of you for all of the hard work that went into this! Is there any last thoughts or anything you’d like to share?
Raf:
I’m very grateful for the opportunity we both got to do this! This has been one of the best things that I’ve been able to do and that’s thanks to the awesome people at Comics Youth.
Alice:
So true!!
Raf:
So thank youuuu (laughing)
Ella:
It was our pleasure. Absolutely our pleasure!
Alice:
Oh yes, I mean retweet what Raf said. (Laughter) and also if you’re listening to this and thinking oh no I wish I could’ve gone too! Then stay tuned, Comfortably Queer isn’t gone forever, it’s not gone for goods, so keep your eyes on the social medias and all that jazz.
Ella:
Mmhmm. Thank you very much Alice and Raf for chatting with me today, I am really excited to see the future projects that you work on going forward!
A massive thank you to our amazing young people for taking the time to chat with us about their event, Comfortably Queer. To see more about this event check our Instagram page @comicsyouth where we shared some wholesome photos from the event.
Our song of the week is ‘Equal’ by Liverpool based bedroom pop artist Amber Jay. With emotive vocals, innovative production and a heart full of feeling, Amber Jay created exciting and evocative music, blending genres and writing the most heartfelt lyrics. ‘Equal’ is a song that seemed very fitting for this episode as it is a song about finding a feeling of safety and happiness in yourself and your identity in a world which doesn’t treat people as equals. It is a song about loving all human beings, and that there isn’t a blueprint for who we should be, that self love is powerful and lots of other lovely, empowering messages! We hope you enjoy.
Equal by Amber Jay
We are Ella and Eve from Where are the Girlbands working in collaboration with Comics Youth to bring you interviews with local organisations and individuals who create safe spaces. You can find us on Instagram as @wherearethegirlbands where we celebrate women in music and discuss how to make local music scenes more accessible for everyone through reviews, video series, interviews and events! You can find more about Comics Youth on Instagram at @comicsyouth or via the website comicsyouth.co.uk. Comics Youth is a youth led organisation that aims to empower youth across the Liverpool City Region to flourish from the margins of society, creating safe spaces where young people can harness their own narratives and find confidence within a creative community. Comics Youth provide a range of creative services designed to support and amplify the often diminished voices of young people, from zine creation to youth led publishing hubs and projects such as this podcast which highlights the voices of those working within our community to create safe spaces! Thanks for listening.